Instructions Not Included

I had been looking forward to the summer. Now, please don't get me wrong, I haven't been having a dreadful time, but I have been having a rather busy time. Which is why I've been away since...whoa, April. Yikes.

I've not been entirely silent though. I've recently written a guest post for DiabetesMine, and had the rather lovely experience of chatting with Chris for an episode of Just Talking. In the real world, I've been to a couple of D meet-ups - a lovely London based one with my wonderful friend, Shelley, and more recently I popped my head in (not really for long enough, sadly) to one on my doorstep. I also got invited to do a Q&A for a group of new start pumpers at my hospital (a post on that in the near future, I promise).

With the first year of my MA under my belt, with no scheduled classes for the summer term, I had anticipated having time to breathe a bit, get my thoughts in order. Has it turned out like that? Well, no, not really. Sure, I'm done with the MA until October, but other things have stepped up to fill the void. 

I don't consider myself to be immensely highly strung, or very high maintenance. But in truth, I'm not exactly the most laid back person in the world. I stress. A lot. I get anxious, which doesn't help me in any way, shape or form. Stress and I have a bit of a vicious cycle. I stress, which pushes my levels up. Which means I don't sleep well, which makes me tired and edgy. Which makes me stress more. Which starts the circle all over again. Oh and don't forget to throw in the small fact that my IBS symptoms are mostly stress induced. And round we go, again and again.

So I've been quiet on the whole social media front. I've barely been on twitter, which is normally my haunt of choice. I've not been blogging. But, oh my D-friends, I have missed you. I really, really have. But I had to try and keep a hold on my sanity, whilst struggling with this horrid cycle, working my normal 9-5, and then turning my mind over to the equivalent of a 5-9, which is getting a new company off the ground, and getting creatively and practically ready to go to the Edinburgh Fringe Festival. 

So there you go. I've been battling the heat, the ongoing nagging in the back of my mind that I should be trying harder to lose weight after 'chubbygate', the stress, and, if I'm honest, feeling very alone and isolated. But I'm still here. I'm trying - and I've missed you all.

Posted by Becky at 23:45 | Labels: advocacy, guest post, heat, IBS, sleep, stress, university | 6 comments | Location: York, UK

Posted by Becky at 00:13 | Labels: guest post | 1 comments |

Posted by Becky at 19:00 | Labels: doc, guest post | 3 comments |

Tuesday already! Today's guest is Jacquie from Typical Type 1. I love what she said to me when she emailed this across to me. 'Diabetics of the world unite!'. Couldn't put it better myself. So I'll let her take it away with a story of a far off land...

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"How much do I bolus for a pan-fried fish with the head attached?"

It was the first time I'd ever asked myself that particular question. Then again, it was also the first time I'd ever been in Greece -- or anywhere outside of the United States, for that matter.

But there I was, on one of the peninsulas of Halkidiki, surrounded at the dinner table by my husband, his dear Greek friend George, George's mother, father, and wife, Eleni. Oh, and a plate full of fried-crisp whole fish: heads, tails, bones, fins, eyeballs and all.

We'd been in Europe for almost three weeks, and while I was thoroughly enjoying the adventure, I was also coming down with a debilitating case of homesickness. After all, foreign countries can be . . . pretty foreign. I'd noticed that the streets were home to little herds of stray dogs. Virtually everyone was a heavy smoker. The elevators counted the first floor as "0", and the 2nd floor as "1." And although the friends we stayed with spoke English, most of the conversations around us took place in Greek.

I might have succumbed to my homesickness if it wasn't for one amazing coincidence: Eleni, my husband's best friend's wife, has Type 1 diabetes -- and an insulin pump. See, I'm one of those dorks who will run shamelessly up to a complete stranger -- smile on face and pump in hand -- if I even see a hint of transparent plastic tubing peeking from his or her waistband. It's why I feel an instant connection to each and every D-OC'er, no matter where they're from or how old they are or even how long they've been living with diabetes. I can't help it. 

From what I knew, Eleni was a little more reserved about her T1 status. She, too, had lived with the disease for well over a decade, so the ins and outs were old hat. She and her husband had just had their first child, and hers was a pregnancy without complications. Here was someone living the kind of diabetic life I'd always hoped for -- only on the other side of the world and without as many pets. Although she insisted that she could barely carry on a conversation in English, Eleni spoke the language better than some of my friends do. She explained to me what it was like trying to feed a baby when your blood sugar's in the 50's, and how her husband jokingly tossed a candy bar her way any time she started to get grumpy. Thinking back, I wish I'd asked her how to say "My blood sugar's low" in Greek.

That final evening of our stay in Halkidiki, I was pretty much ready to go home. I was upstairs, changing into the last clean outfit I had in my suitcase and borrowing Eleni's hairdryer before our dinner of fried fish. (I was dying for some Chick-Fil-A.) The doors between our two bedrooms were both open, and just as I was ready to head downstairs, I heard the noise that's the same in every language: "Ka-CHUNK!" 

Of course, it was Eleni's infusion set inserter. I looked over and saw her in the familiar position: shirt pulled up to expose the site on her belly, neck craned as she looked down to smooth the edges of the site with with an alcohol swab. She glanced up, we smiled quietly at each other, and I descended the stairs to take my seat at the dinner table.

I haven't talked to Eleni much since we left Greece, but I hope to see her again in the near future -- either on our side of the pond or hers. Meeting her was one of the highlights of my trip. 

Out loud, "How much do I bolus for a pan-fried fish with the head attached?" is a question that doesn't make much sense when I'm among English-speaking friends in the States. But across the table from Eleni, at that moment, asking it made me feel right at home.

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OK, now I totally want to go to Greece - makes my current trip to Harrogate sound positively mundane (which it is....)

Posted by Becky at 19:00 | Labels: doc, guest post | 8 comments |

Posted by Becky at 19:00 | Labels: doc, guest post | 3 comments |

Chris is brand new on the DOC scene, and I'm thrilled to have her posting today. Her blog, Canadian D-gal, is a really worth a read. I'm also really looking forward to trying her recipe from the first batch of D-Feast recipes!

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I was diagnosed with diabetes in the summer of 2002 at the age of 22.  Before diagnosis I was a regular adventure seeker.  My hobbies included rock climbing, scuba diving, Mountain biking, Snow boarding, backpacking… the list goes on (AND ON).  None of these things stopped upon diagnosis.  Just the preparations became harder.  Suddenly it was more than just throwing on my shoes and going for a run.

I am not one for jewelry; I find it annoying and cumbersome.  I once owned a Medic-Alert ID bracelet that looked like a sports band.  The bracelet didn’t last long before I just stopped wearing it because it bothered me.  Over the years I have continued to be just as active in the outdoors as ever but have never really stopped to think about the repercussions if something did “HAPPEN”.  I am with people sometimes but more often than not I do these things alone.  And anyone that knows me well knows I am constantly pushing my limits and biting off more than I can chew.  Often barely making it home some days.  I've been known to make a phone call or two because I've ridden my bike too far and can't make it back.  I can’t count how many times I had to walk the rest of the run, or stop on the side of the road during a ride.  Sure I can go everywhere with my cell phone but that is not always trustworthy.

I have never uttered the words “WHAT IF?”  What IF something happened? What IF I wasn’t able to speak? I've never asked that question because I was terrified to come to terms with the reality that something could easily happen.  I’ve managed to go 8 years without running into an emergency situation that I couldn’t handle.  With my lifestyle and stubbornness, that surprises me.  However, putting myself out there almost every day in compromising situations I feel like I’m a walking talking emergency waiting to happen.   Maybe I’ve done well for myself over the years but I’ve come close, on a few occasions.    I’ve got to stop going along waiting for something bad to happen to give me a reason to look out for myself.  After all, I’m usually alone and there is nobody there to look out for me but me.  I’ve got to stop giving myself the benefit of the doubt and DO something proactive.   

I thought about medic alert jewelry but I just couldn’t bring myself to actually wear any of it.  I thought about those shoe ID tags but I do so many different things I’d have to move it around from running shoe to cycling shoe to roller blade to hiking boot, or buy many of them.  It didn’t seem like the right thing.   A Tattoo seemed like the right decision for me.  NOT only do I never have to worry about breaking it or loosing it. I don’t have to wear jewelry!  It’s there through all the running, bouncing, spinning, sweating, swimming etc.  It will never fall off or get damaged or scratched.   It’s clear and legible and obvious and PERMANENT!  No matter where I go, or what I do, it will always speak for me when maybe I can’t.   So I researched and designed it for a long time and this past Saturday I had it done and I love it!  It has a recognizable medic-alert logo with the red symbol.  It also has the blue universal ring to symbolize diabetes.  And in clear text it says DIABETES TYPE 1.  

More important than anything else, diabetes is life-long.  Unfortunately it’s not going away any time soon and THAT, my friends, is the ugly truth about it.  My tattoo is more than medic alert, This will speak for me for the rest of my life.  

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I love this post, because it shows how different we all are, and how we make life with D work for us. I myself would never get a tattoo, but I think Chris' is clean and tasteful, and if I ever were to get one, it would probably be something rather like this!

Posted by Becky at 19:00 | Labels: doc, guest post | 0 comments |

I'm thrilled to be kicking off this Guest Post Week with a post from the unbelievably lovely Cara, from Every Day, Every Hour, Every Minute. She's a kindred spirit in terms of her love for cupcakes, baking and musical theatre. One day we will HAVE to see a show together - maybe when she wins the UK lottery, as so many spam emails keep telling her she has!

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Normal. That word can be totally overrated at times. What is it? What is normal? My normal could be very different from your normal. Our normal could be vastly different from the normal of a movie star or a politician.

To me, normal is getting up every day and living my life with diabetes. Testing, blousing, counting carbs. Quarterly doctors visits, yearly eye doctor visits, and always carrying around a juice box and all the things for an emergency pump site change. All of this is part of my life other than the standard work, friends, and church.

Even within our diabetes community, our “normal” can be very different. Each of us lives every day with different expectations of ourselves and our diabetes. My high or low marker may be totally different from yours. I have a friend who has diabetes who would be thrilled with my A1c results from the past couple of times. I, however, would like a lower number. Her normal is different from mine. It doesn’t make either of us “right,” it just makes us different.

Some of us like a low-carb diet. Others don’t. Some of us have to deal with things other than diabetes like celiac or asperger syndrome. Some of us pump, some of us don’t. Some use CGMS. Some don’t.

One of the best things about the D-OC is that, for the most part, we accept each other for what “normal” may mean to each individual person. We congratulate each other for a “good “ A1c number, while that same number for the next person may be a disappointment and that person needs encouragement and a “better luck next time”.

Individuality in diabetes is just like individuality in any other part of life. It isn’t always about what’s “right” or “wrong” or “good” or “bad”. It is just about what makes you, you. Finding your comfortable place and striving for it.

This community is about the support that we give each other and the support we get in return. Because if there’s one thing I’ve learned in life it’s that I need support in my journey. Especially support in this journey of life with diabetes.

So, D-OC, I encourage you to find your normal and embrace it. And understand that it isn’t always about a number, or a test result. It’s about finding where you are comfortable and healthy and shooting for that goal. And knowing that when it comes right down to it, you can always turn on your computer or your iPhone and find a whole community of people who have their own normal and support you in finding yours. 

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Thanks for that post, Cara! You make a really, really good point! 

Posted by Becky at 19:00 | Labels: doc, guest post, INI let loose | 2 comments |

Tomorrow will be the 14th July. Which means there is just over a month to go until The D Team challenge takes place. 

I've managed a couple of interesting things. I've moved up my weights, so that I'm using dumbbells weighing 10lb each, instead of the 5lb ones I was using before. I'd been finding doing chest flys unbelievably difficult with this weight increase, but I've pushed through and had a bit of a breakthrough this morning. I wasn't completely trashed after doing my set amount of reps! Hoorah! That means that I can start thinking about doing the amount of flys that I did with the 5lbs now! 

I've also twice now managed to break the 3k mark whilst doing ten minute free running on the Wii Fit. That's been one of my goals, so I'm chuffed to have managed to do it. Now, I know of course, that these are 'Wii Distances', not real world ones, but I'm still pleased. 

All in all, I've been finding doing these workouts before work difficult, but I have found myself enjoying them as well, which is pretty great, because although I've loved going to the gym whenever I've been able to afford it, I've never exactly been one for sticking to 'in my front room' type exercise. I have to attribute a good deal of this to encouragement from the wonderful Ginger Vieira. She's been really helpful, giving me advice via Twitter (yes, I am a hooked convert), and pointing me in the right direction. If you're after inspiration, I suggest looking at her latest vlog. See, women can do weights! Oh and Ginger, if you're reading, notice how I also slipped 'chuffed' in again, for you? ;)

You might be wondering what the heck the picture of someone dressed as Wonder Woman is doing on today's post. Maybe you're not - you might be wondering about something else. But I'm going to assume that you are for a moment. Admittedly, it's not the first time I've had Wonder Woman pay a visit, but this is not about that. For a really long time, I've so badly wanted an excuse to dress up as her. I haven't, for several reasons. First up, I haven't really had occasion. That's one of the main reasons. However, I've never felt comfortable getting my legs out. I don't like having them on show, and the only time I ever wear anything shorter than just above the knee is in bed, or if I'm going swimming. I just don't like my thighs - no-one really needs to see that, at the end of the day! They're about the size of Shropshire.

However, in the next fortnight I have the opportunity to dress up. But I noticed this morning, after doing my workout, that my thighs in general felt different. By that, I mean, more toned and not as flabby. Sure, this is almost certainly psychological, because I doubt that the fruit of my workouts would show this quickly. But I'm going to keep telling myself it's real. That way, I'll have another reason to keep it up after the challenge is done!  

In an attempt to cross another thing off The List though, I've had Andrew buying me costume things off Ebay. On top of him harassing customer services over my laptop on my behalf. He is on his holiday - I should really leave him alone! Thank you, Andrew - you did help me get the laptop back! 

I've also been 'let loose' today! I'm guest blogging for Allison at Lemonade Life today. Please do have a wander over there and check it out, particularly if you've not read her blog before - it's always a good read!

Posted by Becky at 22:10 | Labels: being thankful, exercise, fundraising, goals, guest post, INI let loose, the d team, training | 2 comments |

Like many others at this time of the year, I'm going to be offline for a week next month. Sadly, not on my own holidays though. Every year, my work packs up the entire office for a week, and decamps to boarding schools in North Yorkshire, for the annual Riding Lights Summer Theatre School (still places available, by the way!). 

This means that I'll be working away from an internet connection - meaning no new posts from me for that time. So I'm looking for your help, DOC!

I need guest posters for 24th - 31st July. I don't have any particular theme in mind, but if you're interested in filling in for me for a day, please do get in touch. Leave a comment, or drop me an email, and we can sort something out.  Looking forward to hearing from you!

Posted by Becky at 12:55 | Labels: friends, guest post, nablopomo | 2 comments |

Over the last few days, I've had some issues of serious failure cross my path. Some of them got me so riled up that I feel I need to share them. 

First up, the rather wonderful Kelly over at Diabetesaliciousness™ came across something really rather rage inducing. 

Read about her encounter with a completely ignorant book at her local pharmacy, which infuriates me both as a diabetic, and as a Christian. I believe anyone with any kind of faith, or any kind of conscience for that matter will get seriously enraged by this. Kelly is also encouraging everyone to try and get this awful book removed from shops. Please go and get involved, particularly if you're US based. They will listen to us if enough of us complain.

Secondly, she's not the only one talking about this right now, but Amy Tenderich of DiabetesMine is talking about the ruling that only 'trained' nurses are going to be allowed to inject insulin in certain US states - what happens in schools where there are no nurses? It seems utterly ridiculous, and also incredibly dangerous.

Diabetes UK are also, amongst others, trying to highlight the plight of parents in the UK who have been forced to give up work in order to care for their children with Type 1. Schools in question, hang your heads in shame!

Now, as a form of counter balance, here are some moments of win from online, which have also crossed my path!

Cara from Every Day, Every Hour, Every Minute is doing a giveaway of some amazing carb-free cupcakes! OK, they're actually crayons, but they're pretty awesome all the same. They definitely look good enough to eat!

Ginger Vieira's site Living In Progress has caught my eye. She does Life Coaching for people with chronic illnesses and health problems. As soon as my laptop has been repaired/new one has been purchased, and my Skype is working again, I'm looking forward to having a consult!

Diabetic Feed is back! After a fairly long hiatus, they're back in business with podcasts about diabetes news and the online community. Definitely worth a download!

Not wholly diabetes related, but I've been enjoying reading posts from John Schumann over at his blog, Glass Hospital. His blog is all about 'demystifying medicine one week at a time'. 

With demystifying medicine in mind, my own little plug is for my new article, 10 Tips For Living With Type 1 Diabetes at Health And Life Stuff, who are all about explaining complex medical things.

Finally, it's Diabetes Week here in the UK! See what Diabetes UK are up to and what they have to say.

Posted by Becky at 23:29 | Labels: advocacy, fail, friends, guest post, nablopomo, soap box, win | 4 comments |

Something about weekends, and not wearing my watch throws my internal clock all off. Which means sometimes I end up eating later than I plan to, because I just plain old lose track of the time. 

I found myself having some strange old thoughts earlier. I was sat in my bedroom doing a sudoku puzzle, and I had a shining moment of well...weirdness, I suppose. I realised that I had done something that I believed no-one had ever done before. I had worked out the genders of all the numbers! Genius! So 9 was female, 8 was male, 7 female, 6 male, but it doesn't just carry on in sequence... Looking at the clock. Oh, it's 21:00. That's later than I thought, and thinking about it, isn't thinking about what gender all the numbers in sudoku are just a bit strange if you stop and consider it a bit more?

Probably a good idea to get something to eat, all things considered.

And just as a heads up, I had a guest post up yesterday at The Life of a Diabetic. Feel free to go and check it out. Many thanks to Chris for having me over as part of his guest post week!

Posted by Becky at 22:54 | Labels: food, getting philosophical, guest post, nablopomo, sieve brain moments | 0 comments |

We all love a good Blog Carnival! I've been very proud to have been involved with several Carnivals over at Chronic Babe, and to have done Grand Rounds twice.

What I've noticed though, is that most of the major Carnivals tend to be heavily dominated by, if not exclusively made up of submissions from US blogs. Now, please don't get me wrong - I love reading these blogs, and I have not a single thing against them. America's a big place, so it makes absolute sense that lots of posts would come from bloggers in the US. 

But what about Europe? Europe's a big place to - we're ethnically and culturally diverse, and we manage as many different health conditions as our brothers and sisters over the pond!

So, whilst talking to Sam, over at Talking Blood Glucose, I hit upon this idea: why not have a Carnival that showcases all the best health blogs that Europe has to offer?

So we will! I'm inviting you to be part of the very first volume of the Bureaux Carnival (Blog Euro - Bureaux! Get it? I'm funny, me!), which I will be hosting here at INI on Monday 10th May.

If you're a health blogger, whether you're a patient, a doctor, nurse, or carer, and you'd like to be involved, the Bureaux Carnival is for you!

Our first volume will be looking for posts on the theme of friendship. That's nice and broad, so should give you a lot to talk about.

If you want to submit an entry, email us at bureauxcarnival @ googlemail dot com. Put "Volume One" in the subject line. Send your name as you'd like it to appear, the name/URL of your blog, the name/URL of your post, and 1-2 sentences of description. Deadline: Saturday, 8th May at midnight GMT.

If you'd also be interested in being a future host, email and let us know! Do spread the word to any amazing bloggers you know who you think should be involved and aware that this is happening.

The Bureaux is open for business!

Posted by Becky at 20:46 | Labels: blog carnival, bureax carnival, guest post, INI let loose | 5 comments |

Well I promised you a guest post. And here it is. This is from the wonderful Sam, whose blog has a new home at TalkingBloodGlucose.com . I highly suggest going and checking out her posts - they're always very entertaining!

Well, I'll let her take it away. And I'm always looking for people to submit guest posts. Let me know if you fancy it!

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There’s nothing worse than finding something sharp in your shoe/slipper/sock. Usually it culminates with a lot of jumping around yelling the odds, but then you take shoe/slipper/sock off and find the culprit.

One tiny used blood testing strip.

This is something I always find amazing. Why is it, even though used test strips always end up in the bin they somehow end up in the most random of places. I found one in the bed this morning, on my other half’s side of the bed. More often that not I find them in my shoes, or in the tiny space between the carpet and the kitchen door, or in the bathroom. I just don’t understand it.

You know, I can understand them being at the bottom of my handbag. Let’s face it, I’m lazy when I go out and always throw blood strips in my handbag. But when I’m at work and I find them on the floor and under the tables, that’s when I really start scratching my head.

Are they made of some magnetic substance that attracts it to the most random of places? I can’t even remember the amount of times I’ve put my hand down on the sofa and found a strip stuck to it. And it’s worse when they end up in the bottom of your shoe and poke you.

The way to stop this is simple. Pick up used blood strip, carry to bin, deposit in bin. Then why does it never work? Do they fall out of the bin as you carry the bin bag out of the door, or do they grow legs?

Maybe the blood strips are conspiring against us…

It’s all one big conspiracy theory…

We’re doomed.

Posted by Becky at 23:15 | Labels: guest post, INI let loose, testing | 1 comments |