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    Showing posts with label sleep. Show all posts
    Showing posts with label sleep. Show all posts

  1. Overnight

    Wednesday, 20 June 2012

    I am truly a very lucky girl in many, many respects. I still can't quite believe that in these times of so many things being cut back, the giant madness that is what government is planning to do to our poor NHS, and all the many other things that have been happening, that I managed to get my hands on a pump. Of course, I have to keep reminding myself that I managed to do so in 2010, although that never sits right in my mind. It feels too long ago. I then have to have a quiet word with myself along the lines of 'you've actually been doing all this longer than you think you have.' 

    Ah yes. Right you are. 

    But even before I decided that pumping was going to be the right move for me (a long and arduous process, I'm sure those of you who have been reading my ramblings for a while will recall), the focus of all my covetousness was always a CGM. Oooh yes. Extremely hard to come by in this neck of the woods, especially if you don't have the finances to self fund, which I don't. I paid my bills this evening, and that wincing sound that followed it up should give you a bit of a sense of my general financial situation. 

    But I recently doubled my basal rates, for reasons I will go into another time. For the most part, this has been rather a great success. However, previous to that I'd been having an awful lot of swings. Dreadful sleep and the like. 

    Since doubling, things had been a lot better, and my waking scores had been much lower than normal. Being that I'd been struggling to get them under 9(160), this felt like a vast improvement. However, I'd not been able to shake the nagging feeling that something needed tweaking. Again my sleep had been feeling rather rubbish. Perhaps I was going high overnight? So after a fairly disastrous clinic appointment (again, another time) I decided I would throw caution to the wind and ask if I could borrow the clinic's CGM for a week. 

    Much to my surprise, they said yes. 

    Huh. Wasn't expecting that.  But not only were they ok with it, it turns out that the clinic was in possession of two different CGMs. The Freestyle Navigator, which is what I had initially hoped to borrow, and the Medtronic iPro (I wonder when Apple are going to start hounding them for that name). Given the time that it would apparently take to get funding for a Navigator sensor, I ended up asking to borrow the iPro. 

    If you're not familiar with it, it will record up to six days worth of data for later upload - you can't view it in real time. However, I thought it would probably give me the most accurate picture of what was going on over a period of time.

    What I hadn't taken into consideration was where the sensor would end up. I had imagined I would be able to put it in my arm. Turns out that wasn't an option. Attempt number one was on my abdomen, but went into a patch of skin which makes me think I need to rotate my sites more. So we went for my lower back. Both attempts HURT to go in, and as you can probably see off the photo, the one that stayed in bled.

    Now, I had this in for six days, and had it taken out this morning. To channel the Big Bang Theory for a moment, something about either the sensor or the Tegaderm that was placed over the top was something of a wool/fire ant blend. It itched like CRAZY. And also happened to be placed just at an awkward point on the side that I sleep on. Which made for a couple of interesting evenings. TWO FREAKING HOURS trying to get to sleep one night. I just don't sleep naturally on my left hand side, and it was just too uncomfortable on the sensor. 

    Thankfully, it seems like the data I got was worthwhile. But the main shock was not what I was expecting. I mentioned earlier that I'd been having some really bad sleep lately. I thought I'd been being a bit of a wuss, but getting up had been being harder and harder lately. Looking at the data on the graphs, it turns out that I've been being hypo overnight. A lot. For extended periods of time.

    And if I hadn't asked to borrow the CGM, I would probably never have known. That's more than a little frightening. I've always been torn between the belief that, as I'd been told many times, if you are hypo overnight you will wake up. But then I'm sadly balancing that off with far too many blue candles on Facebook, and too many horror stories that I've heard first and second hand from the DOC.

    I've knocked my overnight basal down by a fraction. Hopefully that will be enough. Yet I don't think sleep is going to come easily tonight, or for the next few nights. This has made me all the more keen to eventually get my hands on some permanent CGM tech. With Dexcom and the Animas Vibe over here now (and already using Animas products myself), you would think it would be possible. But even though the tech is there, the funds are not. 

    This scares me. I'm not ashamed to say that. And I will correct this - what other choice do I have? 

    Posted by Becky at 22:54 | Labels: , , , , | 1 comments |

  2. I had been looking forward to the summer. Now, please don't get me wrong, I haven't been having a dreadful time, but I have been having a rather busy time. Which is why I've been away since...whoa, April. Yikes.

    I've not been entirely silent though. I've recently written a guest post for DiabetesMine, and had the rather lovely experience of chatting with Chris for an episode of Just Talking. In the real world, I've been to a couple of D meet-ups - a lovely London based one with my wonderful friend, Shelley, and more recently I popped my head in (not really for long enough, sadly) to one on my doorstep. I also got invited to do a Q&A for a group of new start pumpers at my hospital (a post on that in the near future, I promise).

    With the first year of my MA under my belt, with no scheduled classes for the summer term, I had anticipated having time to breathe a bit, get my thoughts in order. Has it turned out like that? Well, no, not really. Sure, I'm done with the MA until October, but other things have stepped up to fill the void. 

    I don't consider myself to be immensely highly strung, or very high maintenance. But in truth, I'm not exactly the most laid back person in the world. I stress. A lot. I get anxious, which doesn't help me in any way, shape or form. Stress and I have a bit of a vicious cycle. I stress, which pushes my levels up. Which means I don't sleep well, which makes me tired and edgy. Which makes me stress more. Which starts the circle all over again. Oh and don't forget to throw in the small fact that my IBS symptoms are mostly stress induced. And round we go, again and again.

    So I've been quiet on the whole social media front. I've barely been on twitter, which is normally my haunt of choice. I've not been blogging. But, oh my D-friends, I have missed you. I really, really have. But I had to try and keep a hold on my sanity, whilst struggling with this horrid cycle, working my normal 9-5, and then turning my mind over to the equivalent of a 5-9, which is getting a new company off the ground, and getting creatively and practically ready to go to the Edinburgh Fringe Festival. 

    So there you go. I've been battling the heat, the ongoing nagging in the back of my mind that I should be trying harder to lose weight after 'chubbygate', the stress, and, if I'm honest, feeling very alone and isolated. But I'm still here. I'm trying - and I've missed you all.

    Posted by Becky at 23:45 | Labels: , , , , , , | 6 comments | Location: York, UK

  3. Welcome Back

    Monday, 3 January 2011


    I thought I would let this really wonderful flashmob speak for me. I've been away far too long, for reasons that I'll explain momentarily. So a welcome back to hopefully far more normal and regular service here.

    It's a little bit ironic that on this entry, I can announce that I was nominated for one of the 2010 DOC Awards! Category? Blogger that we wish would blog more. I'd like to say a huge thank you to whoever nominated me - I'm really touched. I'm also proving true to form, as voting has now closed! 

    So what's been keeping me away from here for the past month? Well, I'll be honest with you. I've been a)overly busy, b)stressed, and c)exhausted. I mentioned having to do some pretty intense testing immediately after my pump start, but that drained me more than I was willing to admit. I'd not been sleeping well before the pump start, so my energy tank was running on low from the get go. By mid December? I was so tired that I was worried that I was going to end up making some sort of REALLY stupid mistake that I would end up regretting. I tend to squirrel away my holiday days, rather like...well, a squirrel. With nuts. I don't like using them, in case of discovering I need them all of a sudden. But I ended up having to use several, simply in order to sleep. Not the most constructive use of the time, really. 

    And over Christmas? Thankfully work shuts for a week between Christmas and New Year, which makes sense, as we'd have no-one to do business with (straight out of A Christmas Carol there!). Several of my days off were occupied with travelling up and down the country to see the wonderful Rob 'Faceman' Gooch, of D-Team fame, get married to his lovely, now-wife, Anna. I managed to go home to see my family for a couple of days for the first time since May. I say May, but I think it may have been longer than that. I just read that sentence back to myself, and I promise you no pun was intended. Because if it was, that would be unforgivable, really. 

    I had a lovely Christmas at home, I really did. But between all the loveliness, work for my MA has been piling on, and although I've managed to get part of my work done to at least a first draft stage, I still have the evenings of the following week to get that piece up to scratch, and finish and then redraft my play. I'm swamped. And I'm back to work tomorrow. 

    And life with the pump? Her name is now Anneka, for reasons that will be better explained in a later post. I'm now over a month in to this pumping milarky. First two weeks? They were a lot of hard work, with all the testing, and getting used to the A,B,C's of the whole affair. Then I got into the swing of things, and my levels started falling into place. But over the past week or so? Well here are examples of a few tests, admittedly not in the right order, but still all genuine from over the past week.

    Meter goes 'Dee-Deed!' (I never like the double beep - it means I'm either high or low)
    11mmol/l (198) - Huh?

    Dee-Deed!
    15.3mmol/l (275) - WTH?

    Dee-Deed!
    13.8mmol/l (248) - OK, I'm starting to get narked off now...

    Dee-Deed!
    10.9mmol/l (196) - Better, but still no cigar.

    Dee-Deed!
    12.9mmol/l (232) - I'm losing my patience now...

    Dee-Deed!
    16.5mmol/l (297) - I could cry, I really could.

    Lather, rinse, repeat. Getting below 10mmol/l (180)? Quite the accomplishment, at the moment. Admitedly, I did start out having problems getting the hang of changing cannulas, and I've had a few pretty purple and red ones, but the cannulas themselves? Aside from one extremely dodgy one, they've all been pretty good. So I'm thinking that my carb ratios or basals have to be off. At the moment, ratios are the number one suspect. And right now, I'm just grateful to have an appointment with the pump team on Thursday. Trying to get a handle on Masters' work whilst running high all the time? Not easy - I get extremely restless and agitated when high. And I can't concentrate. Not the best combination. 

    Ah well. Bring it on, I suppose...

    Posted by Becky at 22:15 | Labels: , , , , , , | 2 comments |

  4. I was determined that I would get up this morning, and do my work out before heading off to work.

    I've not exactly made a secret of the fact that my sleep routine is rubbish. I struggle to get up. However, if I know I have to get up for a thing, I'll quite often wake up hours in advance, because I'll be paranoid about oversleeping. 

    So, I aim to get up at 7:40, so I can do weights, jogging, my 20 minute yoga/general exercises, and a few of the balance games. What time am I awake?

    5:30am. Urgh. Of course it is. I'm not going to get up then, though! But can I get back to sleep? No, not really. So I did get up eventually. 

    And....drumroll, please! I did work out! I was a good girl! 

    Now, just the other how many days until the event happens to go...

    Posted by Becky at 22:08 | Labels: , , , | 1 comments |

  5. Sweet Dreams

    Monday, 17 May 2010

    One of my (many, I'm sure) flaws is that I have absolutely terrible sleeping habits. Even I'm embarrassed by them. It's very rare that I'm in bed before midnight, and I'm a frequent oversleeper. I have two alarm clocks - one on my phone, and one old-fashioned clanger sort that goes like the clappers and is the size of a dinner plate. I still manage to sleep through them with alarming (I wrote that with genuinely no pun intended) frequency.

    I need to get into a routine again. When I was at university, I'd be up all night quite happily, and I would be highly productive that way. I guess, in my mind, if I could do it then, I can do it now. But maybe I've changed? If I can drag myself out of my wonderful (but not as wonderful, and nowhere near as gorgeous as the one pictured!) bed earlier than I would like, I actually get a lot done early in the morning. My problem right now is how to get into a routine of up early, to bed early. I'm always tired!

    Most of this is my own fault, and I'll admit that quite freely. However, I've found if I go to bed higher than I would like, I feel absolutely trashed in the morning. I don't know if this is true of anyone else, but it seems to be true of me. Case in point would be last night. Went to bed on about 13.9 mmol/l (250mg/dl), and woke up on around 7mmol/l (126 mg/dl). That's a fairly substantial drop overnight? Maybe it did something to contribute to the rather freaky dreams of last night. Something to chew over, I'm sure.

    I remember bedtime routine as a child. My bedtime drink of choice was Vimto (do you guys have that in the States? It's amazing!) in a mug. The cordial version, of course. I don't know why it was always in a mug, but it was. I think tonight, to mark the start of my 'better sleep hygiene' (a weird term, surely?) might require Vimto in a mug. Then maybe I can start trying to get things done.

    Posted by Becky at 22:23 | Labels: , , , , | 0 comments |