In case you weren't aware, looking anywhere on the internet today would alert you to the fact that it's Valentine's Day. 'Really?' I hear you say. Well, apparently so. So what could be more appropriate for me to turn my attention to in day two of my Seven Deadly Sins week than Lust?
So if you're my Mum (unlikely!), or someone who just doesn't want to go there, I'll suggest that you have a look at Oddly Specific for the amount of time it would normally take you to read my posts, and I'll welcome you back tomorrow. Everyone else, I suggest you look at that after you've finished reading the post, because it cracks me up.
To be honest though, this isn't going to be so much about lust as it is about relationships. At work on Friday, someone from a local bar rang the door, and looked me up and down when I answered. She then went 'here, these are for you and the singletons that work here', and handed me some leaflets. For speed dating. Oh and two for £6.00 Strawberry Woo-Woos. Charming.
But I have been single for a rather long time now. I've never really been in a relationship. And at (so close to it's rather pointless to refer to myself as being anything else) 25, it's not something I'm proud of. It does quite often make me wonder if it's something about me that makes me fundamentally un-datable. But that's another story. I'm not after sympathy or anything along those lines. What I am after is a chance to be honest with those of you reading this.
I wonder about what my future relationships are going to be like. How to explain diabetes to someone who I'm interested in. This huge part of my life that is so integral to me is going to be a huge part of their life too. What are they going to think of it? Are they going to be interested, or just want me to get on with it by myself? I know in my heart of hearts, that if they're anyone I'm going to want to spend my life with, they're going to want to support me through it. But how many of those guys are out there? I know people who have found them, and I'm so thrilled for them. I just hope that you've left some out there for the rest of us!
Then of course you've got sex. Now, I'm not ashamed to say that I've never had it. I don't personally believe in sex before marriage, and since I've just admitted that I'm a chronic single, well, you can do the maths! So I've never experienced sex without diabetes, but I'm of an age where, well, I could have if I'd wanted to, unlike many of my D-friends, who were diagnosed as children.
As far as I know, sex, more often than not, equals hypos. At the moment, I get the shakes something horrible when I'm hypo. I talk rubbish. That's not sexy. And when you don't feel sexy at the best of times, knowing that ending up shaking and talking absolute garbage isn't particularly appealing. Hold on darling, I just need to drink this juice. Hmmm....
But more than that, can they love me with diabetes as much as they'd love me without it? Now, there's a thinker.
Happy February 14th to you all xx