Instructions Not Included

I am a day late, but I have just consumed four pancakes. And they were good (elongate the 'o' a whole lot, and you'll get there). 

But I could have eaten four again. 

Food and I have a bit of a weird relationship these days. Sure, I'm healthier, and I'm thinner than I've been in a long time. And I know there's nothing that I can't have. But I do know that there are plenty of things that I shouldn't. But I want things. 

I came to love yoghurt-coated crystallised ginger a few months ago. Then I discovered it was pretty much 90% sugar. A second bowl of cereal. Fruit juice. Oh my word, fruit juice. Smoothies. 

I can't carb count properly yet, because I need something along the lines of a quarter-unit pen to be able to do it. Which makes so many things frustrating.

I had a Malteaster Bunny today. I love these things, I really do. And though I was not low, I was heading that way, so I felt it was a sensible move. But then I felt bad. I don't hold with the whole 'a moment on the lips' rubbish. I think it's patronising. However, it's a moment of 'good', which leads to guilt afterwards. And it's guilt which I feel guilty about afterwards. 

Yet I would still happily have four more pancakes and that other Malteaster Bunny that's hidden in my bag because it's almost bang on 15g of carb and makes a perfect post-glucotab treat. 

Some days you just can't win.

Posted by Becky at 23:37 | Labels: bolus, cooking, food, hypos, type 1 |