Pride's a funny thing. When I consider it, it seems like I always think of it as a bad thing - it has a lot of negative associations. Walking home today, however, I found myself thinking of that song by M People, which asks us to think about 'What have you done today to make you feel proud?'.
A friend of mine shared the picture on the left on Facebook a few days ago. They thought it was disturbing, but I can relate to it.
This past week I've rather felt like I've had all my blood transfused with this. I've been running high for several days, and with the beginning of feeling real-person sick, I was not doing well. Sleep was poor or non existent, coupled with all the physical and emotional drags of running high. My temper was short, my nerves were frayed. Every weekday morning, I wrestled with whether or not I had the energy to get up and go to work, when I felt like I'd gone through a mangle, and all I wanted to do was sleep and desperately try and recharge.
I hate letting people down. I got up, I walked to work, I worked the day, I walked home rinse and repeat for a few days. And whilst I am so, so thankful to the people who have put up with me whilst I've been, at times, less than useless, I realised today that I am allowed to be proud of myself. That it's ok. Pride can be a good thing, when you take a moment to think about it. These few days have been rubbish, but I survived them. I am still alive.
Doesn't sound like a lot, does it? Some days it feels like it, though. And there will be some of you reading this that will know exactly what I mean because you've just had one of those days too.
Be proud, my friend - you've survived too.