Instructions Not Included

 I hear tell sometimes of women who can take hours to get ready to go out of a morning, or if they're going out at night. Not me. It's not my way. Of a morning, I'm up, shower, wash my hair, dress and dry my hair. Brush it, and as far as grooming goes, that's pretty much it for me, really. I don't wear makeup - I'd much rather have the extra 15 minutes in bed. 

You've probably heard me mention before that I take part in Dancesport. If you've not come across the term before, Dancesport is competitive ballroom and latin dancing. Think Strictly Come Dancing (the original Dancing with the Stars if you're of a US persuasion). I've been taking lessons since Autumn of 2009. Seriously, I love it. And between February and March, I'm going to be doing my first two competitions. That means several things: dresses, fake tan, hair and LOTS of makeup. 

Oh dear.

Dresses? Hey, I can get on board with that - I love a bit of dressing up now and then, and I've managed to find myself a really nice ballroom dress for an absolute steal in one the January sales. Quids in. Hair? Oh that'll drive me crazy, but I'll just about cope, if I can find someone to help me. 

Fake tan? Ah, now that's where the fun starts. You need to have at least some colour, so I'm told. Now, I don't tan. I'm pale and proud of it - you need to roll with what you've got, and that's what God gave me. So I bought myself some of that body lotion with tan in it. I got given some really good advice about it. EXFOLIATE for a few days before applying so it doesn't go all blotchy. OK, fair enough. Exfoliate I shall.

Exfoliate, exfoliate, exfoliate. Hmmm....let's break my 'no moisturising in the daytime' rule. Oh, set change time. Here we go. Oooooh, look! No bubbles! 

OK, why won't this stick? Oh yes. That would be the body lotion. There's no way anything's sticking to that now. Alcohol wipes or something like that would be useful right now. Do I have any? Of course not. What do I have? Nail varnish remover. And of course, my skin loves that. So, Tegaderm. That looks sexy. 

At least on the plus side - no bubbles. But I can't wait until I actually start using this tanning moisturiser. That should be a whole other state of affairs. And people wonder why I don't do the whole 'beauty regime' thing.