Monday, 20 July 2009Dear Miss Thomson,
We are pleased to inform you that you have a place at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. Please find enclosed a list of all necessary books and equipment...
No wait, scratch that.
So I've been re-reading all the Harry Potter books. And last night, made the trip to see Half Blood Prince (seriously, what was up with all the pointless burning of buildings? Do they have some sort of pyromaniac on staff? Inquiring minds want to know!). So when a slightly unexpected letter turned up on Saturday, it was a bit like getting my Hogwarts letter.
Dear Ms Thomson,
Your blood test results are now available, and are consistent with you having Type 1 Diabetes.
Not the biggest shocker in the world, you might think, but since I've been waiting on these results for a while, and didn't think I was going to get them until I went back to clinic next month, this letter was an absolute bolt out of the blue.
But that's it - I've got a proper,GAD antibodies-and-similar-test confirmed, straight from the labs official diagnosis. This is possibly one of the most reassuring letters I've ever received. I know now where I'm at, and crazy as that is, that feels great.
I'm going to Hogwarts, baby!
Thursday, 16 July 2009Last night was hard.
Wow. Just admitting that makes it feel a little better. I'm told that admitting when you're having trouble does tend to make the trouble easier. Maybe it's actually true.
So last night was night two of the Shrew Harrogate run. Two more to go. I find eating dinner whilst doing my stage management duties difficult. I don't exactly hide this, and I've talked about it on here before, but I'm trying my best. I know it'll be a while before I get to eat dinner. So I have a scone at about 3:30, before my ride turns up to take me over to Harrogate. The show goes up at 7:30, and I sit down and try and eat a sandwich and a low-fat yoghurt. Like I say, I'm trying the best that I can, and anything else is slightly intrusive to what's going on on stage. And I was generally feeling ok.
Until we hit the interval. I stand up and suddenly I feel like a light breeze could blow me over. But I have jobs to do. It's probably just headrush.
Why hello there, denial.
I start my jobs, but admit in passing that I'm feeling a bit dizzy. Best line of the night is then called out to me from outside the dungeon (actually a cellar under a building that we're using as our dressing room/green room)
'Is it a complicated sugar thing?'
Now I'm thinking it's almost certainly a good idea to test. Do some more jobs first, but then grab my meter. Open up my pot of test strips....
There are only two looking up at me.
When did that happen?!
Well, they'll have to do. Numberwang says....
1.9 (34 for over the pond-ers)
Now, there are about 5 minutes left of the interval. Still jobs to do. Suddenly serious issues of costumes that haven't been set, and no way of getting them into place before the second half starts appear, and I'm trying to eat Glucotabs and figure out solutions to these problems at the same time.
And I'm scared.
I don't like being that low. Hypos scare me, and I'm very glad that 1.9 remains the lowest I've ever been. What I'm really afraid of, I think, is being out of control and not being able to look out for myself. Generally I'm a believer that it's ok to be scared, but all I can think is that I've got to pull myself together and sort this out.
I want to cry - it's just all too much for my poor head. How the hell do I get the damn coat into the back room? Has the wine glass got back where it needs to be? Why didn't I water the geraniums in the hanging baskets, because now they're practically dead and look awful.
So we're getting there. And now I'm hungry, and I want to eat everything in sight. And I just want to go home, maybe fall asleep with a dvd on before crawling into bed. But I've got a job to do. And everyone wants to go to the pub before the 45 minute (with good traffic) drive back to York. And I've missed the last train.
I need a hug from someone. I want to get my other pot of test strips that are sat on my bureau.
But what can you do? You practically have to scrape yourself up off the floor, and sit in the pub in a daze. But you have to carry on regardless. No matter how tired you feel.
So yes, I'd say it is a complicated sugar thing.
Thursday, 9 July 2009So I went out to buy my lunch earlier. I went out with my friend Jenny, who asked if we could go to TopShop first. No problem there. But whilst I was sat waiting for her to finish trying some stuff on, my hands started getting pins and needles.
Quick test, and the Numberwang is...
OK, no problem there. Should probably eat lunch earlier, eat three glucotabs, all is well again - despite the most monstrous queues in Marks and Spencer. Blarg.
Althought that's two days in a row I've had pre-lunch hypos, which when I'd been doing so well for not having them, is a touch annoying.
But anyway, to the point of this story.
My housemate (who also works where I do) walks into the kitchen at work to make tea. As a point of interest, I mention I had a hypo in TopShop.
'You might want to think about getting lunch before shopping'
'I'd gone out to buy my lunch!'
Wednesday, 8 July 2009I lasted till 15:58.
It doesn't taste that bad.
Let's see if there are any repercussions.
Posted by Becky at 16:04 | | |
The scene: Having just returned from Gourmet Burger Kitchen for an office farewell lunch to our lovely Education Assistant Hannah.
The time: 14:24. 6 minutes away from 2 hour post-lunch test.
The problem: The bar of diabetic fudge from Thorntons sat on my desk, bought as a gift from self same lovely Education Assistant.
Eat me, Becky - sayeth the fudge
No, no bar of fudge, say I, you will mess up my test. And I have been warned about you and your laxative effects.
The time: 14:27. I decide to do an 'early' test. How much of a difference will three minutes really make?
*beep beep* says the meter.
Eat me. Eat me.
I will resist you bar of fudge. And your 21.9 grams of Polyols. What the hell are they anyway?
Sugar alcohols, a class of polyols, are commonly added to foods because of their lower caloric content than sugars; however, they are also, in general, less sweet, and are often combined with high-intensity sweeteners. They are also added to chewing gum because they are not metabolized (broken down) by bacteria in the mouth, so they do not contribute to tooth decay. Maltitol, sorbitol, and isomalt are some of the more common types. Sugar alcohols may be formed under mild reducing conditions from their analogue sugars.
......sayeth Wikipedia. I feel much more enlightened. Sweeteners then. Why can't they just say that?
Who cares? Eat me, Becky. Eat me and satisfy your curiosity about diabetic sweets. Come on...you know you're going to.
No no. I have willpower. Really, I do. Just because I can't stop biting my nails doesn't mean I can't resist a bar of fudge that I'm imagining speaking to me.
And so the battle continues.
Tuesday, 7 July 2009So now I'm back on insulin. Novorapid, but no Lantus. And the cause of this was not BS readings, but instead it was ketones. The strange thing is that at the moment, with the NR, I'm starting to even out, with readings of between 4 and 5, with a few 6's thrown in for good measure. I'm hoping that this is the start of good future progress, because I was never really happy about being off insulin. It felt far too much like playing Numberwang.
OK, if you've never seen Mitchell & Webb, you will have absolutely NO idea what I'm on about.
Check it out. It's very funny.
No, seriously. I'll wait, I promise
*grabs a diet coke* You're not missing anything.
(2 minutes and 15 seconds later)
You probably get the point now, I would imagine. Without insulin, I was pinging all over the place. And I really didn't like it very much.
So here's hoping.
In other news, Shrew got a great review, and hopefully the rain will hold back this evening. And I have another clinic appointment next month. Which they did for me.....because I stupidly didn't know I had to schedule it myself. Shining moment for me there!
Wednesday, 1 July 2009So I haven't been updating the past couple of days. My main reason for this has been my involvement with The Mooted Theatre Company's current production of The Taming of the Shrew, which I am the Stage Manager for. We open tomorrow night, for the record, and if you're in the North Yorkshire region, it's well worth coming to see
Now, with my plug out of the way, let's get onto the real mess that tech & dress rehearsal days can cause. The main problem with them is that when you're busy, you're busy. Finding time to stop and eat is difficult, if not impossible. It is also hot at the moment. Very hot in fact. Which, I understand, can really mess up your BG levels. And so can walking a lot. And carrying heavy things a lot. I think you get the idea. Or at least I hope you do, because I don't think I can make it much clearer!
So I'm walking, carrying heavy things under the sun, with not much time to drink, eat or do anything else. Which means my concentration gets pretty much shot, and even with not being on insulin at the moment, I can feel my levels are low. But since the cast seems to turn up and I have to get pre-show ready at the exact time I want to eat my evening meal, it has to wait. So then I have to wait til I get home. Which the past two nights has been gone ten or half ten. Tonight it was closer to eleven, and I had things I needed to do before I could think about food, including a shower. But when I actually got some proper food, it had gone midnight. To be fair, I'd had a Nairn's oat biscuit to tide me over, but my pre-dinner level was 6.3. So it wasn't as low as I'd thought. However, late meals mean even later post dinner tests. Which is the bit that really gets me. Since I know full well that I should be eating dinner at a more normal time, I'm trying to be a good, responsible girl and make sure I do my two-hour post meal test. But that means staying up much later than I want. So here I am, sat up typing this, and watching Heroes on DVD till 2am, when I can test and then go to bed, then get up and start this over again.
Oh the things we do.
Coming soon - Becky plays Numberwang, Becky has sushi, and Cake (part 2 - the revenge)